The Corporate Ladder is Wobbly

The climb up the corporate ladder can be a tricky one full of tough decisions, sacrifices and surprises.

I have been working in the field of Public Relations and Communications for over 20 years. I started soon out of high school because I was so determined to be successful and all I wanted to do was work and high-tail it up that ladder.

Things were going well. I conquered every challenge, jumped from position to position with greater success in every move. It was like a chess game and I was poised for a win.

Then life got in the way. On came the usual speed bumps that come along in the journey of life, put there to slow you down, humble you, or maybe test you to see how determined you really are. It's true, nothing worthwhile comes without a fight.

For me, things happen in multiples. Like fate took a nap, suddenly woke up and realized life might have been going to smoothly for me. Then boom.... relationships went sideways, work became more frustrating than challenging and of course, the health bombshell. That's enough to knock anyone off their game.

But I chose to pick myself up each time I got knocked down and try to move on. It's hard. Very hard. Emotions can totally skew reality.

I did so much soul searching and navel gazing and finally found the ability to cope.

But fate is a funny thing. Testing you, always testing you...making you push harder up that ladder not just the corporate ladder, but the life ladder as well.

I was recently promoted at work. The position is a critical part of the leadership team and comes at a time when the organization is experiencing significant change and threat to its existence. I was asked to speak to a group of young business professionals on reputation management in these challenging times.

I hate speaking in public.

I have been told I am an engaging and passionate speaker. But I don't see it. All I see is the floppy form my mouth takes when I try to speak; the slow way my large eyes blink; the high cheekbones that create huge shadows under my eyes; the crooked way I walk; the lazy way I sit and the awkward way my arms move when I am trying to animate my presentation. All I see is the FSH Muscular Dystrophy that I am trying so hard to conquer.

My discomfort for public speaking grew to an absolute aversion to anyone looking at me. How in the world can you succeed in a career where your public face and communication style IS your job?

I put my fears aside and channeled my positive energy into blowing past my fears and making an outstanding presentation. I went to the venue early, networked with the participants to make it easier, made my notes and visualized the presentation going off flawlessly.

Then I saw the stage. No handrails to get up to the stage. One hundred people, including the leadership team of the company I work for (most of whom to do not know I have FSH) watched me as I stood paralyzed at the foot of the stage. I had to ask the moderator to help me up and there was no way to do that in a subtle way.

I tried to be graceful and joke around, regroup and focus on the presentation. I started speaking and all was well, until my words started jumbling. It was like my mouth was purposely using words that were easier to say rather than the words I meant to say. Damn FSH! Needless to say, I wasn't as articulate as I would have liked, but thankfully the words my mouth chose to speak didn't create a PR disaster.

I was devastated. My expectations are very high, too high for the average person and way too high for someone with a disability. I have realized success is more about setting the right expectations, not lower ones but realistic ones so I can continue to succeed up the ladder. I also realized I should stop beating myself up about it since the two able bodied speakers were so nervous that they almost didn't get through their presentations.

I guess it's time to move to goal posts and try and claim victory. I still have to figure out how to be the public face of a company when I don't want people looking at me. I am not sure it is even possible. I have never seen a corporate spokesperson with a disability who wasn't speaking about disability issues.

Right Now

The search for the perfect moment is one of the biggest obstacles to achievement. I have heard the sentiment wrapped in various quotes and truths:

"Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect."

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.”

"If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by."

and my personal favourite,

"The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is now."

This is to say get off your butt and do what you want to do. Time waits for no one.

For someone with a progressive disability, no truer words are spoken. I always say, "I do the things I can do while I can do them." The truth may be more evident for me, but it is not any less true for anyone else.

I have spent too much time waiting for the perfect moment to pursue my true passions, one of which is writing a book. It perplexed me since I am usually very focused and driven to achieve career and personal goals (except losing weight, that never lasts. I love food too much.) But for everything else, I am like a heat-seeking missile, finding exactly what I want and taking each fearless step to get there.

Why was this taking me so long?

I keep saying I need to 'get in the zone'. The 'zone' is the perfect moment for me. This is how I write. Once I'm in the zone, it was an effortless process where my imagination weaves into the right words and takes a story into places it was meant to go. I often go back to read what I wrote and don't even remember writing it.

But clearly, getting into the zone when you put pressure to get in the zone is what actually keeps you from getting there.

Or is it just fear, fear that once I try this thing I want so badly to be good at, I'll actually be terrible at it?

The other sure-fire barrier to success: fear.

The truth is you can grow old waiting for the perfect moment to try something, but that perfect moment is now and you are missing it because you are too busy making up reasons for why you haven't tried.

Change the definition of failure. Failure is not having tried, not trying and not achieving perfection when excellence is good enough.