Do you believe in magic?

An odd start to a post, but I thought I would float this idea to you for your ... amusement.

I enjoy a good adventure and often feel like one can make their own epic adventure just by having a good chat with a friend, losing yourself in a book or those 'zen moments' where it is just you and your imagination.

I also get a real kick out of psychics and their visions of the future.

Before you roll your eyes and stop reading, hear me out.

I am not one of those people who would change my life because of what a fortune teller said. I value it more for fun more than anything else. I admit, there is something about someone, particularly a stranger who might be more perceptive then the average person, to tell you something positive about your life. Perhaps saying the right thing at the right moment gives hope when a person needs it most.

It is a dangerous thing though, so not for the easily influenced or faint of heart. But I wanted to share my experience.

I didn't visit my first psychic until five years ago, around the time when I was going through the adoption process, at a cross roads with my career and at the end of a long term relationship. There was a lot going on in my life and I was so curious to hear what this lady, a cuban woman who grew up in the Middle East, saw in the bitter coffee grounds left over after I choked down a few sips of her awful concoction.

She told me vivid stories about seeing me climbing a steep mountain to get to a house at the top. She said I would struggle to get to the top and I would want to give up but I would meet a man with a moustache who would help me finish this journey.

I never met this man, or know of this house, but it is parked in my memory for the future.

She told me I would get the promotion I was up for but then I would lose it very quickly, but my salary would be better. I thought that was odd, but true to form, I got the promotion, was laid off a few months later, got a new position in the same company at more money.

As with all 'visionaries', and I have seen a psychic, clairvoyant and astrologer, they tell me the same thing with my health: I will always have health issues and it is a source of frustration for me, (and sadness for my family) but I was stronger than anyone imagined and I would live a long and happy life. The last two I met, said that through natural healing and yoga, I would see a major improvement until a cure was to be found which would be in a few years.

I had already started yoga and natural medicines, and a few months after that reading, researchers had a few FSH breakthroughs. I was pretty shocked since I had resided to the fact that there was no cure.

They all told me I would never have trouble with work and would always have money. But I would never be rich since I would use all my money on my health and my loneliness. Boy, is that true! It's expensive to have a disability.

And, kids. As I mentioned, I had just started the adoption process. The psychic had a fit when I asked her if I was going to have kids. She said there was no way I was going to have children, not even through adoption. But she said she saw a beautiful child with curly hair who would be my life.

What? That is what I dreamed my daughter would have, bouncy curly hair. I figured she didn't know what she was talking about. But, she insisted that if I would ever be a mother, it would be by marrying someone with a child. (The clairvoyant and astrologer said the same thing, they saw me with kids, but not biologically my own.)

Well, I just ignored them and threw myself into the adoption and being a mom. I was so determined, how could it not happen?

But she was right and as you know from previous posts, the adoption didn't go through. I guess there are some things that are predestined.

The curly haired child? It took my a couple of years to realize it was my nephew, the love of my life.

And as for marrying a man with a child? Funny thing about my new boyfriend ....

But the most interesting thing they all said was that I am supposed to be doing more than what I am doing. That I am holding myself back from something important. They were so adamant about it, but couldn't tell me anything more about it.

I have yet to find out what that is, but I am looking forward to that journey of discovery.

Right Now

The search for the perfect moment is one of the biggest obstacles to achievement. I have heard the sentiment wrapped in various quotes and truths:

"Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect."

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.”

"If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by."

and my personal favourite,

"The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is now."

This is to say get off your butt and do what you want to do. Time waits for no one.

For someone with a progressive disability, no truer words are spoken. I always say, "I do the things I can do while I can do them." The truth may be more evident for me, but it is not any less true for anyone else.

I have spent too much time waiting for the perfect moment to pursue my true passions, one of which is writing a book. It perplexed me since I am usually very focused and driven to achieve career and personal goals (except losing weight, that never lasts. I love food too much.) But for everything else, I am like a heat-seeking missile, finding exactly what I want and taking each fearless step to get there.

Why was this taking me so long?

I keep saying I need to 'get in the zone'. The 'zone' is the perfect moment for me. This is how I write. Once I'm in the zone, it was an effortless process where my imagination weaves into the right words and takes a story into places it was meant to go. I often go back to read what I wrote and don't even remember writing it.

But clearly, getting into the zone when you put pressure to get in the zone is what actually keeps you from getting there.

Or is it just fear, fear that once I try this thing I want so badly to be good at, I'll actually be terrible at it?

The other sure-fire barrier to success: fear.

The truth is you can grow old waiting for the perfect moment to try something, but that perfect moment is now and you are missing it because you are too busy making up reasons for why you haven't tried.

Change the definition of failure. Failure is not having tried, not trying and not achieving perfection when excellence is good enough.