The Run In

Last weekend, I bumped into my ex at a party for the daughter of a mutual friend. I hadn't seen him "face to FSH" in a couple of years.

He knew about my FSH when we were dating and was the relationship in my life when I was in the "should I risk passing on FSH to my kids? Should I have kids?"

At the time, I hadn't yet experienced the depths of FSH progression. Even though we all know it's a progressive condition and everyone tells us it's going to get worse so prepare yourself, I still thought I could "will" it away. Mind over matter...pray... have faith... miracles happen... this is as bad as it gets... All good sentiments. But, FSH is totally on it's own agenda. (Reminds me of the saying "if you want to make God laugh, make a plan").

He was of the view it would be selfish to have a child who could suffer because of my decision. I wanted children so much. It was one of the few things I knew I wanted from as early as I can remember. I had a big extended family so I wanted at least five kids.

But, God had a different plan.

We spent a lot of time catching up on each other's lives. He asked about my FSH of course, and how it was progressing, what I was doing to deal with it. Given I had my walker with me, it was hard to avoid the elephant in the room!

In the years that followed our breakup, and sidelined plans of marriage and kids, I realized we weren't so different.

We both had good jobs, our own homes and our own challenges and successes. We both got married to other people we loved. He had his two and a half year old at the party and I had my stepson, niece and nephew there, so we both had the family we craved and I had as much fun and joy with my kids as he did with his. Probably more because I got to sugar mine up and send them back to their other homes!

In the end, it reminded me that things may not work out the way you plan, but they will always work out in the end.