Splat!

I hope my posts about falling don't become too much of a recurring theme, but here is a stellar installment!


Last week, we had a big event at work. It included major stakeholders and executives from around the country.


I did my best to play my part and squeezed into the last suit in my closet that wouldn't cut of my circulation. I put on my ugly but sensible shoes figuring it would be better to choose function over fashion.


I spent the day walking back and forth from room to room, putting out fires and schmoozing at an epic level, something I don't do very well most of the time.


All the while, my feet were throbbing in my sensible shoes and my legs were getting heavier and heavier. By the time the event was over, I was trying to casually find a pillar to lean on looking classy rather than as rough as I was actually feeling.


Wouldn't you know it, just as I was crafting my creative exit at the wee hour of .. ahem.. 10 pm.. the president asked if I would take one of our senior executives upstairs to get her things. What a golden opportunity to connect with her one-on-one and make a lasting impression.


Be careful what you wish for.


I walked with her even though by now it felt like I was walking through sludge while my legs were being strangled by a medieval vice. My bones were rubbing against each other. My joints were aching and my back was as stiff as a board. All that from walking and standing in sensible shoes.


But, I kept going and tried to ignore the pain. I walked fast so I could keep up with this power broker in the company. I was holding my own in the conversation, engaging her in a strategic analysis of our latest initiative and then... you guessed it... I tripped on my own feet which I was dragging by now.


Splat, indeed.


I landed on my knee which left a massive bruise. She of course panicked and asked if I was ok. I was trying to think of something clever, but I figured getting off the floor would be a more useful endeavour. Since I couldn't get up off the floor, I crawled over to the nearest chair and pushed myself up all the while telling her to go gather her things and I would get her a cab.


I guess that left an unforgettable impression.


Thankfully she was too tired to dwell on it.


Thankfully I got out some intelligent information before dropping like a sack of potatoes.


Most of all, I am thankful I wore a suit and not a dress.